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Today's Power Quote

A soft answer turneth away wrath;
but a grievous word
stirreth up anger.

- Proverbs 15:1

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Saturday, December 13, 2014

TRUST AND HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

GUEST POST   

    Trust and human relationships
  Kolkar Mahabub Ali
  alimahabub@gmail.com
Holding Master Degrees in English and Human Resources Development and two diplomas in Journalism and Counselling Psychology. Presently serving as Personal Secretary to Special DG, CISF in New Delhi.  Earlier served as Faculty member and Psychological Counsellor at the National Industrial Security Academy (NISA), Hyderabad and as Police Advisor in the United Nations Mission in South Sudan (13 Nov 2011 to 13 Nov 2012).   
  
In every human relationship, ‘trust’ is the most essential element that acts as a glue and cohesive force. Trust is the basis on which relationships flourish, bloom and endure the test of times. It is the foundation on which the entire superstructures of human relationships are built. As pointed out by Barbara Smith, ‘trust’ is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living.
It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish”. The power of trust is immense and limitless. We believe in the Almighty and repose our unflinching trust in Him and we all know how He ‘heals’ and enables us to come out from the life’s dilemmas and difficulties. We all heard about ‘trust deficit’ to be the stumbling block in the way of finding out amicable settlement to the long standing and contentious issues. Love is life and life without love is barren, insipid and meaningless. As echoed by Khahill Gibran, “Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.” It is no wonder therefore that in the absence of ‘trust’, many relationships simply disappear, dwindle and ultimately disintegrate.

People come for psychological counselling with many known/unknown fears, dilemmas, irrational beliefs, etc. not willing to share their concerns/fears freely. It is the responsibility of the Counsellor to establish that much needed and all important rapport creating an atmosphere of reassurance and trust in the mind of the client. This will enable/facilitate the client to share his/her innermost feelings, beliefs, deep fears to create dynamic self-understanding and clarity of thought in the process for embarking on further course of action. When people start trusting, they will slowly open up and feel secured to share their concerns/feelings which are very crucial in the counselling process. While unconditional acceptance, genuineness, uninterrupted attention and attentive listening will help the Counsellor to gain the trust of the client, the reputation of the counsellor will go a long way in gaining the much needed ‘trust’. Respecting the privacy of the client is utmost important as it is through ‘confidentiality’, the counsellor will be able to inspire ‘trust’ in the counselee. Counsellor-counselee relationship based on lack of trust are like dilapidated buildings waiting to crumble any time! Whatever is the technical knowledge and counselling skills one has, if there is no ‘trust’, there will only be ‘rust’ in the relationship. 

While the flow of information is possible through communication in any organization, the significance of communication in organizational success hardly needs any emphasis. A lot of literature has already been available to demonstrate as to how the success or failure of any Organization depends on the quality of communication. It is therefore extremely important to ensure uninterrupted and qualitative communications in the organizations to have clarity of purpose, cohesiveness and organizational effectiveness. It may be worthwhile to quote Stephen R Convey who said that “Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”If the leader or manager fails to establish that ‘trust’ among his/her subordinates through his actions, the first casualty in such scenario will be sub-standard communications, demotivation characterized by mistrust and mere formality. Communications flow smoothly and effectively only when the parties involved in it are having ‘trust’ on each other; demonstrate genuineness, exhibiting mutual respect, etc. facilitating win-win situations for all stakeholders. 

Motivation is an intrinsic driving force which emanates from within. It is responsible for intensity, direction and persistence in behaviour. While the HR Managers are struggling hard to keep the motivational levels of their employees for greater output and long term organizational sustainability, it is proving a difficult task indeed. In fact, human behaviour is such an intricate system that the more we try to understand the dynamics of human nature and the drivers of motivation, the deeper it goes and difficult to understand! It is said that action is the foundational key of all success. Motivation acts as a driving force and provides the much needed ignition and stimulation to get into action. It is therefore apt to say that nothing is impossible without motivation. While the incentives for motivation can be classified as ‘monetary’ and ‘non-monetary’ and the policy of different ‘strokes’ for different ‘folks’ can be applied appropriately, but still the intensity of these incentives, unless sustained, will be petered out shortly affecting the motivation levels of the employees triggering increased absenteeism, attrition levels and negativity. Trust plays a crucial role in motivating the employees. In fact, ‘trust’ is said to be the highest form of human motivation. The Pygmalion effect, or Rosenthal effect, is the phenomenon whereby the greater the expectation/trust placed upon people, the better they perform. When we genuinely trust and expect something, people get greatly motivated to fulfil the ‘trust and expectations’ reposed in them leading to greater performance and potential blossoming. 

Leadership is the art and science of getting things done through others willingly towards achieving the organizational goals. A leader cannot exert his positive influence and inspire his subordinates unless he gains the trust of his followers. As long as the trust levels are high among his followers, he may be able to motivate them to turn the vision of the Organization into visible results. It is therefore very important for all leaders to practice what they preach and inspire his subordinates through his actions rather than words to build and sustain the trust reserves in them. If the trust level becomes low, the extent of obedience and its consequent motivation levels will proportionately decrease. Trust will act as a magic-wand in goading and stimulating the followers towards action. 

Trust is effective communication, trust is love, trust is motivation, trust is effective leadership and trust is the essence of life. Therefore, the key to human health, happiness and success lies in understanding and appreciating the significance of ‘trust’ in all our lives.

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